Holiday in Luxor

After the death of my partner, I went on holidays on my own, for the first time. Destination Luxor, Egypt. One evening, just before dinner, I went for a little walk. Looking back now, I’d better stayed in the hotel.

A young man came up to me and started a conversation. Initially I didn’t feel like talking, but didn’t want to seem unfriendly. After a while I went back to the hotel to have dinner. We agreed to meet each other later that evening to finish our conversation. This would be the start of a relationship for the next 10 years.

The next years were all in the light of our relationship. I went to Luxor as often as I could. At first I stayed in hotels, but then started to go to apartments, to have a bit more freedom. Quickly I started having doubts, which were caused by all kind of strange things happening and the constant demand for money. In the meantime my love changed in real appreciation, real love. With the help of my pink glasses I ignored all doubts.

In spite of my doubts and all the conflicts, I felt happy with him. In the beginning I did several attemps to get him to Holland, unfortunally they were all without success. So the idea to go and live in Egypt started growing in my head. With his help I bought a house on the West Bank of the Nile and a connecting piece of land, where in the following years a small studio was build.

My friend was not feeling happy, which showed in the constant demand for money, so he could start his own business. His family was not very fortunate and their accommodation was far from ideal. I helped him financing a new house and gave him the possibility on financial area to have a job. My help did not pay off, everything ended in a financial debacle.

After all these years I was completely fed up and refused to give him any further financial help. Which resulted in very heavy conflicts. At the end the monkey came out of the bag and it became clear to me that all the houses I bought were not mine, but his; thus fraud. Processes in court followed and finally I was more or less forced into a compromise with him. This costed me a lot of money, but the big house was my property again. The studio and the connecting land belonged to both of us.

In September 2010 as usual I was travelling to Luxor again for a 4 weeks stay. At Luxor airport though I was stopped and sent back. They denied me access tot the country, without given a reason. Thinking that it might have to do with the place where I landed, I flew in January 2011 to Cairo, but the same story, they refused me access to the country. My solliciter this time did find the reason for this. I was on the "black list". Reason being a conflict with a man in Luxor. This man dit put me on this list, with the help of a high police officer, because of subversive activities.

Now, I'm working hard with the solliciter to return to Luxor. Inspite of everything my love for Egypt stayed, Hamdulilah!!!!

The beginning of the end

A long time ago, I fell in love with an Egyptian. Ignorant of all the risks I married him officially in Egypt. At that point in time there was not al lot known or published about Bezness.

Our marriage was legalized in Holland. This automatically gave him a visa to stay in Holland.
After we´d been living in Holland for 3 years (under my guarantee) he became his Dutch passport.
At that time homesickness to his native country, problems with integration and the attacks of 9 September 2001 started to put their mark on our relationship.

Looking back, the fine words: "Let us go and live together in Egypt" had only one goal; to get the most out of it financially and emotionally.

He was sweet talking, saying things like: Let us build another house, where we can grow old together!

I'll go and work for our future, because you worked for me long enough!
I'll treat you like a princess.
You can do all the things you like.
I'll help you to integrate. That might take a few years, but if you listen to me everything will be alright!

Until I found out that everything was one bit game!
The house we constructed had to be sold, because he needed money for his future! I was disobedient, because I wanted to know everything. This of course was a contradiction with an Egyptian woman, that blindly obeys her husband. He wanted me to go and live with his family, they would learn me how to obey him and get ride of all the Western ways of thinking.

As I protested, though measures were taken:
Physical abuse
Isolation and imprisonment
Seizure of money and property
A permanent guard around the house
Mental abuse

Introduction of family and friend to put up the pressure

In Egypt you do not just marry the man, you marry the family as well.
The relationship with the family is very important. Married or not a man has to respect his parent, by doing as they ask him to do.

As a European woman I was accepted by the family, for the simple reason that I was financially supporting them. They knew of course that all my investments where registered under my husbands name. I only found that out when it was far too late!

My isolation - amongst other things - was ment to show family and friends that he had everything under control. I obeyed to a certain to some extent. Although I was caught in a trap, I always remained the boss on my own opinion and self respect, even living a isolated life.
In the end I succeeded contacting the Dutch Embassy. They advised me to get to the Embassy in Caïro as soon as I possibly could or to leave the country.
They, of course, had quite a lot of experience with women in similar situations, that disappeared from the earth!

For me it was impossible to follow up on their advice, given the fact that I was a hostage in my own house.

After two failed attempts, leaving everything behind, I finally succeeded to return to Holland.

Bezness Hurghada

Here comes the extended story,
I started relation with A… from Amir's aquacenter in july last year. I was there recovering from a knee surgery. I stayed in total 3 months there. We met through my best friend in Hurgahda,also a dutch women,who lives in Hurghada..She and her daughter knows him for 4 years...He had short relation with the daughter also. We went on the boat with him..We left from the Aquacenter in Princess hotel belonging to his older brother Ahmed and his younger brother Mahmoud is also working there. His boat Princess Rania is laying there now..Before the boat lady rania was also his. He said he was the owner of the aquacenter but this is not true. In the beginning he told me he had two boats. He sold one after i gave him the money (see later). I asked him also why did you not give me a part of the money back you own me?? He said i bought land in my city Naga Hamadi. This is a good investment for us later. I did not think further at that time. In august my niece, husband and three children came to Hurgada to stay with me. A.. came to dinner in the nights. We spend a lot of time together,went all of us on the boat. A.. also joined us the whole day. In the beginning after a few weeks after starting relation he ask me money to rebuild his boat. I gave this money to him..220000 pound. He signed paper for this. I went back to Holland,we had contact every day by phone and after three weeks I returned back with my parents. He stayed with us a lot of time,getting to get to know my parents...First night we all go out to play biljart and he said to me i have no money really. I can not pay the bill here. The boat is costing so much money...I gave him money. We went to el gouna with a friend of his Salem...Salem almost eat every night with all of us. Sure he was part also of this whole game. Often he took my father to watch staff of him rebuilding the boat. He asked more and more money and stupid as i was i gave it to him. Just before he came here the boat was almost finished. Just some
Small details. Than the paper of the boat had to be arranged. It took a lot of time he said.
Man of the paper wanted money to finish the paper. I talked to this man when i was in Hurghada.
The paper was finished in 3 days. A... still owns this man money.

Also just before he came he called me,sending messages to transfer money. He did not have electricity and no money to eat. He was alone at night all the time. I transferred in total 4 times money with western union. Almost 2000 euro. 23th of december he came to Holland spending christmas and new year together. He left to Hurghada back 8th of january. All the time we were together. He came with no money so i paid everything for him. New clothes. things to decorate the boat,a electric blanket for his mother,because of her bad back,etc. We went on a citytrip to Amsterdam for 4 days. Also i paid of course. A lot of time he wanted to spend my money in casinos. I paid the tickets etc.
Also before he left he asked me money because he had to buy something in duty free shop for a friend.

He got a lot of phonecalls but he did not answer. He called his brother and mother from time to time from my skype,but that was it. At that time he said to me I want to live in Holland with you. I am going to arrange some things in Egypte and i will be back in three weeks. Then the revolution started. He said to me I have to go to the army in Cairo,after two weeks he returned back to his mother and after this he did not answer the phone for 5 days. I started to be suspicious. I called his brother..Told me different stories. Sure his brothers and friends played the game with him all the time. I did not trust it so I booked ticket to Hurghada 27th of february for 1 week. When I told his brother i am coming to hurghada next sunday i got a sms from his brother call A... on this number now. Normally he has two numbers. Now he had another new number. I called him and i told him i will come to Hurghada. He said why why?? I am not in Hurghada..why you come?? I said i want to see the sun and my best friend for 1 week and relax..not telling him i wanted to check things. One day later I called him on his own number. Another man answered the phone. I am the major of the army and no phone calls allowed here. I got angry and i said fuck you and your egyptian army. A... called me back,i have big problems with the general of the army.

You are a racist. sunday when you come the general will visit you in your appartement and you have to make excuses to him. Otherwise you will have big troubles. Sure somebody else answered the phone. He was very afraid i would come to Hurghada and find out everything.
Never i saw a general or somebody from the army of course. When i was in Hurghada i found out that he stole my bankcard (i gave him the key of my app when he left here), the card was there and 30 minutes after arrival in Hurghada he went to my app,took the card and took every day in total 50 times money from my egyptian bankaccount untill it was empty..Total 45000 pound. He had the pincode because he took gass for me one time here and the code here is the same as the Egyptian bankaccount. Never he was in the army. I also found out he is married to an German woman and has two sons with her. I heard she is having a very hard time there,can not get out of the country anymore with her children, etc.
He always said to me I have ex wife and son in Germany. Also he said i have a German passport..That he lived in Dordmund for 9 years. Maybe this is true because we visited a friend in Hamm. They had a garage together there. He knew very good the way there, so that is why i think he lived there. Also he told me when ileft Germany i had a lot of problems there. Saying that he owned people a lot of money,talking about 100000 euros, maybe more. I think this is why he left Germany.

I do not know if he still lives with this german woman in Hurghada,but sure he is controlling her.
She lives in the building of his older brother Ahmed. In egypt there is a doorman at every building so sure he controls her not to go out. Only to bring the children to school.
He is proud to say to other people. She have to listen to me. If i want to make sex with somebody else, she has to accept this.

Back in Holland i found out he is on the blacklist of Hurghada. A lot of Russian women he speaks with in the middle of the night. He has a Kontaktpage in Russian..Also on Kunstkamera.net a lot of people are talking about him. A lot of women are searching for him.
There are photos everywhere from the time we visited Madame Tussaud in Amsterdam. He is trying on the internet to get women to Hurghada to play with them also. He is paying their tickets. The day before yesterday i talked to a women. She is hurt so much. Thinking this man was her future. She was in september in Hurghada staying with him. The same time as me. Unbelievable how he do this. He knows sure i talked to her. sending me sms go fuck yourself. Start to threaten me. When you make problems in Hurghada i will kill you. Make a lot of shit for you,etc. If i can warn just 1 woman for this man,it is at least something...A lot of times i see on the forum kunstkamera.net he ask women for money to buy ticket and see his son.
He has open visa on his Egyptian passport. Never i saw his German passport.
I am sure this man is a big big criminal..Sure i want to stop him to come to europe.
He knows where i live, where I work,etc....I do not want to put whole my family in danger.

Fraud in Egypt

Together with my husband, I came to Egypt to start a new life.
Seven years ago on one of our many holidays in Luxor, we met Hammed, a nice and quiet man, who had seen a lot of the world, as he had been married to an English woman for years and therefore left the country on several occasions. His sincere ways, made us trust him quickly and we considered him as one of our best friends. Last year we decided to buy his coffeeshop and emigrate to Egypt.

As we had a lot of things that we needed to take care of in Holland, Hammed took the responsibility for construction activities to the coffeeshop in Luxor, as well as the apartment on the first floor.
We had daily contact in order to deliberate.
The costs turned out higher then we initially planned, but everything was beautiful.
Once we arrived in Luxor, the coffeeshop turned out to be not a real success. Both Hammed and ourselves tried everything to get in more customers and companies.
Behind the screens, as we found out later, the same Hammed did everything he possibly could to make sure that the customers stayed away.
We also started to have doubts about the selling contracts, as they were made up by the solicitors.
We decided to hire a new solicitor, to find out what was going on.

The results were astonishing; nothing was officially ours, not the coffeeshop, not our apartment, not even the land. Now, months afterwards, we are still caught in a juridical fight, to save everything that is ours and to get our rights.
Hammed, from his side is busy to make sure that he gets back everything that ones belonged to him. No trick in the book is forbidden and bribery of the courts is part of his daily occupations.

Not only we lost all our money, but also the confidence in our so called friends in which we believed so strongly.
Our situation become more and more unbearable, because Hammed and his family are our neighbors. They poison our life, with the only goal that we give up, so we will return legs hanging to Holland. And they can return to what they consider their coffeeshop. So they can bring in the next tourist, that will have the same destiny we had.

My story

Half the nineties, I traveled, together with my girl friend to Hurgada in Egypt. The first night in the hotel we were approached by 2 animators. They asked us if we wanted to go out with them. We refused. Every single night during our stay they asked us the same question, we refused every time again, until the last night of our stay. We visit a bar with them, that is next to the hotel. As soon as we arrived there, only one of the 2 animators was there. He was very courteous and used all his charme to seduce me.
Before we went back home he asked for my address and telephonenumber. He accompanied us to the airport. Two days later he called me and told me that he missed me so much, he was sick because of it. He asked me to return as quick as possible.

After a few months, I returned to Hurgada. At that point in time I just broke up with my boy friend and lived alone. I stayed in the same hotel as before and he was there as well. He did spent all his free time with me. I fell in love, it was a beautiful holiday and he made me feel like a real woman.
He wanted to introduce me to his family. This gave me the impression that he was honest and really loved me. We agreed, that when I would come the next time, we would go visit his parents in Luxor.

In between my holidays in Egypt we wrote and called eachother a lot.
As I arrived the next time in Hurgada, we'd known eachother for 10 months, he proposed to get married and sign the orfi contract at a sollicitors office. I didn't really understand what he meant, but het explained me that in that way we could share a hotelroom as we were going to Luxor.
Later on we could get married in the official way, I agreed.
Two years later, I did visit him 12 times by then and he did spent 1 month in the Netherlands, we got officialy married in Luxor. Six months later he came to Holland. I paid for everything, because he had nothing. The last year he didn't work anymore.

We planned to stay in Holland for several years to earn some money and then move to Egypt. He was studieing, I worked. After he had lived here for more than six months, he thought that renting a house, was a waste of money and he suggested we should buy a house. All this with the money I had from an inheritance and a small loan. Later on we could then sell the house and with that money buy something in Egypt. I agreed, and as we were officialy married, the house would be his property as well as mine.
After he finished his studies, he worked for a few years at different places, but it never lasted long.
In that period he spent more time at home, than at work. He prefered to be his own boss, so we started our own business. That means it was his business, a small barbershop for men. He'd been working like a hairdresser before and liked to pick that up again. As we were married, I had to sign together with him on all the paperwork; rent of the building, loans, etc. If things would go wrong I would bear the burden, but I trusted and supported him.

From that moment onwards he changed completely, he became a real horror. At first he had a staff working for him. After work he was going out with the staff. Late in the night he came home, then I was the one that had to fax the orders to the suppliers. I had to get up early every day to go to work, but he expected me to stay awake until he came home. If I was already in bed, then he waked me up and cursed at me. He claimed that I stayed up, until he was home. I was not a welcome guest in his barbershop, he felt as if I was checking on him. Nevertheless he expected me to do the book keeping, the billing, the rent and the loans. The shop was not really profitable, the staff was in charge and it turned out to be too expensive. Apart from that part of the revenue disappeard in the pockets of the staff.

As we were married for several years, he requested to have the Dutch nationality, which of course he received. In order to lower the costs, he wanted me to work in the shop. I didn't want to stop working as an emplyee and requested to start working part time, the other days I'd work in the shop.
So I was working 7/7 days. Apart from that the housework, the upbringing and care of our children was my task. Everything that went wrong in the shop, became my fault, he treated me like a slave. I had to do all the work (keep the shop clean, book keeping, ordering, shopping, etc.), apart from hair cutting, that was his job. He worked 6 hours a day, I worked 12 to 16 hours.

When I finally came home at 3 in the morning, tired, all hell broke loose. He blamed me that I was going out with other men, that my book keeping wasn't correct and that I stole money. He humiliated me in front of customers and friends. He yelled, threw everything he could find towards my head and brought up his best Arab terms of abuse. Every day the same scenario and the customers could enjoy the spectacle.

From the moment I started working in the shop, he claimed a percentage of the daily revenue. If I did not pay him that, he would no longer work in the shop. I should then hire a hairdresser, which would be more expensive. He would go search for another job. The salary he would earn with that would go to his bank account, so I couldn't touch it and he would not pay for anything.

All costs for the shop and the household of our family were payed by me, because I received the whole budget of the shop after reducing his percentage. So that had to be sufficient for the expenses on the shop and livelihood. If it was not sufficient, then that was bad luck for me.
The money he claimed, he spent on buying property in Egypt, which was all purchased in his name and his travelling to Egypt. Money was also sent on regulary bases to his family in Egypt.
He bought an appartment in Egypt and had to pay that off on monthly bases. If his payement was not on time, he would lose everything he said. If his money for the monthly payement was insuffient, he forced me to pay the rest. He worked less and less and the shop was often closed, because he didn't feel like working. Bankruptcy was approaching. Because of this he had less money and was afraid not to be able to meet his monthly payements. He decided to sell some of the equipment from the shop, to pay for the remaing part. After he sold the equipment and he received his money he left for Egypt, for at least 4 weeks. There was no money to buy new equipment and without them the shop could not be runned. He left for Egypt and I had no clue whether or not he would come back. He told me that he was fed u with the shop and with me, I was the nail in his cofin. In order to prevent a bankruptcy I stopped the shop and started working full time as an employee again. This allowed me to have a loan to pay for all the debts.

As he returns after 4 weeks from Egypt, he promisses me that he shall work with me to pay for the heavy loan. He searches for a job, but want to have financial matters seperated, he wants his own bank account on which his salary can be paid. From this sum he will pay me a fix amount every month. What can I do? What he wants, he will do it anyway. I only can hope that he will stick to his promis. But of course in vain, he pays whatever he want and it's far less than we agreed or nothing at all. He puts his money on his savings account. As soon as he has sufficient money he leaves for Egypt and takes his money.

A few months later, during an escalating fight, he starts hitting me and throws me out. Moments later he lets me in again and is very sorry. I tell him that this is the limit, that I had enough. Before we got married I told him that I would leave him, if he ever hit me or had affairs with other women. I had no proof of the other women, but there were plenty of signs that he frequently had another woman. But physical abuse, like it happened this time, was beyond all my limits. I could not leave the house, because renting another house and the loan would be a burden far to heavy for me. So I told him to leave. He wants to go to Egypt, so I buy him an one way ticket. Two days later he leaves. But he doesn't want to leave me. The house is still there, and that belongs to him as well and he has the right to have his share of that and he has the right to live in that house, until it is sold. Three months later he returns from Egypt.
I propse to sell the house, if he wants to he can return to Egypt afterwards. He agrees, but he wants too much money for the house. After a year it is still not sold. Finally he lowers his price and we find a buyer. He moves as soon as possible to an appartment near by. Given my financial position, I stay in the house until the contract is signed at the notaries offfice, 4 months later. I'm on my own now.

All costs that are coming, payement of the loan, final settlements of gas, water and electricity, cleaning of the house, real estate taxes.......are on my account.
He announced to me that I will not receive one euro from him. The notary hands us over a cheque with the remaining sum. He wants to go to cash the cheque immidiately, because he doesn't trust me.
We still have a joint account, which we use to cash the cheque. His share is transfered directly into his saving account. What's left is my share. As I expected, this share is almost completely used to pay for the remaining costs, he didn't contribute at all.

Now I'm living with my children in another place, but he still want to come back to me. I have a nice, well paid job and with this money we could have a good life together he says. Everything he earns could be saved on his saving account. This money could be usted later one, to invest in a business in Egypt. When he has saved enough money he could leave and I could join him, so I can work there in his shop. I'm still married to him.

Fortunatelly I didn't move to Egypt and that will never happen, because my position there is far weaker.
From a financial perspective I've lost everything, I can start again from zero and what about him?
He came here with only the clothes he was wearing, he didn't have more. Now, after 15 years, he owns property in Egypt and has a large sum of money on his savings account. I don't have any proof of his property, because these documents are carefully kept by his family in Egypt. But I did visit the place.
This story shows broadly the financial side of my marriage. Emotionally I went to hell and back, physical abuse can be proven, but psychic abuse can't. It was his word against mine, so he chose psychic and emotional abuse.

In the worst years of my relationship I kept a diary and wrote down everything.
I'm not yet there, because he still lives here and still want to keep in touch.